Monday, October 13, 2008

Homo Idiotus: A personal experience

My personal experience with this Homo Idiotus is actually an ongoing experience. The pain of dealing with him daily is nearly insufferable. Fortunately, he will be departing soon, from my camp I mean (although it'd be more beneficial to the world if he departed entirely.). There is no greater sign that the person next to you is an Homo Idiotus than the inadequacy of his or her grasp of language. The distinctive lack of proper speech is probably the most noticable thing about this "fellow colleague" of mine, other than his decaying front teeth that is. Oh, and he also has a unique ability which allows him to defecate from both his rear end and his mouth.

Although it is not uncommon for the Homo Idiotus species to be unhygenic, this particular creature is among the extreme. He does not brush his teeth, dismissing it as a "chore" and instead, uses only Listerine before he sleeps. His teeth is one particular sight that would haunt you for all eternity. His front teeth has decayed so badly that portions of it are black (yes, pure black, not brown) and everytime he drinks any colored beverage, it'd enhance the grotesque monstrosity of what is left of his "teeth". Watching 10 men get decapitated is easier than looking at his teeth and this might actually be an understatement. His teeth is, unfortunately, not the only "unclean" thing about him. Not only can you smell his pungent body odor from a mile away, his breath could kill a healthy bull with merely one whiff. The rate at which he smokes could probably rot your lungs in 2 seconds. If there was one thing you should be grateful for, it would be that you don't have to inhale his filthy presence like me and my poor camp mates do.

Not all ends here, however, for there is still many things about this creature that would shock you. For one, this creature scored only 99 for his PSLE and sincerely believes that education, which is essentially the root of our society, is entirely unimportant. The relevance of his arguement to anything can only be measured in galactic distances. His reasoning so warped that it's only purpose serves to violate your poor ears and brains. If this wasn't enough, his terrible speech impairment in all his 3 languages is almost equally excruciating. Everytime he spews his unintelligible garble, the only rational response would be to ignore it. However, he would just be extremely dissatisfied and press on, forcing you to give up your dignity with his incomprehensible waste.

Yet with this much of an intellectual handicap, he persists in expressing complete confidence in his own intelligence and physical dominance. He constantly reminds us of how good of a fighter he is when, in reality, he is nothing more than a shell of pretentious courage. In fact, his own unique way of expressing his rage is to beat up inanimate objects, which purpose clearly serves to demonstrate his physical prowess. His obvious delusions about himself provide him with plenty of false ego, easily shrugging away criticism and insults. This appalling excuse of a "man" also takes out his pitiful frustrations on an obvious weaker being, who is also not much of what I would consider a "man".

As mentioned in the previous post about the Homo Idiotus species, these creatures breed like hamsters because they ignore the consequences of having sex. It is very evident in this particular creature's case since he has a shotgun marriage. Truly a classic example of inconsequential thinking. I sincerely pity his offspring as I can already foresee the principles that will be imparted upon this poor child. It is terribly sad to know that this vicious cycle of stupidity spins tirelessly. Fortunately, not all will be lost if somehow this child manages to break free from his father's intellectual capacity.

I have no fear that this creature will stumble upon this entry as even if he did, he would not understand a single word of it. Of course, he will first have to learn how to operate the computer. Besides, what could he do? Even if by some miraculous chance he manages to operate the computer and even more stunningly comprehend this entry, all in all, he is merely a coward wearing a tiger's skin. He is neither physically fit nor capable of any true intellectual thought. Ironically, he is the perfect example of the direct opposition of perfection. This creature is truly an abomination in our society that needs to be weeded out.

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